Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t understand?

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Sonder:

/son-der/

noun

1. the feeling one has on realizing that every other individual one sees has a life as full and real as one’s own, in which they are the central character and others, including oneself, have secondary or insignificant roles

The profound realization of sonder as a late-diagnosed autistic adult has been nothing short of transformative, offering me a new lens through which to view the intricacies of human connection and experience. It’s truly remarkable how the concept of sonder, with its emphasis on recognizing the complexity and richness of the lives of others, can serve as a pivotal moment of self-discovery for individuals as they navigate the complexities of adulthood. Reflecting on my personal journey, I’ve come to appreciate that not everyone interprets or experiences this profound concept in the same way, highlighting the diverse perspectives and realities that shape our understanding of the world. Growing up, my parents played a crucial role in nurturing within me a profound respect for the interconnectedness of humanity and the diverse tapestry of life. However, it has become apparent that the depth of insight that sonder offers is not universally understood, and many may not have had the opportunity to fully grasp its significance.

Indeed, the notion of neurodivergence adds another layer to my exploration of sonder, shedding light on the societal norms that often prioritize conformity and the pursuit of relatability based on perceived similarities. This emphasis on fitting in and seeking validation through shared experiences has become a significant form of social capital, influencing individuals of all ages within our society. It is evident that a considerable barrier to understanding sonder or experiencing delayed realizations stems from this societal pressure to homogenize personal anecdotes and overlook the diverse and complex lives of those around us. This tendency to personalize situations and the prevalence of extreme emotional responses on social media platforms are linked to an inflated sense of one’s importance in the lives of others, leading to unrealistic expectations regarding how much attention individuals receive from their peers.

Engaging in this cycle of overthinking and exaggerated self-consciousness often fuels feelings of embarrassment, failing to recognize that experiencing embarrassment is a fundamentally human trait. The belief that one’s actions or presence hold immense significance to others perpetuates a self-centered mindset that neglects the reality that most people are preoccupied with their own concerns and interactions, rarely fixating on the minutiae of someone else’s existence. Just as individuals may forget encountering a familiar face in passing, it becomes evident that the majority of individuals do not retain continuous thoughts about others, highlighting the need to shift focus from self-centered assumptions to a broader understanding of human interconnectivity. Through embracing the diverse and intricate narratives that shape each individual’s reality, we contribute to enriching the collective tapestry of humanity and fostering a greater appreciation for the multifaceted nature of human experiences.